Off the Beaten Path: OneShots of Different Couples
by MindSpring
Summary: She was the wise ruler of a kingdom ravaged by war, but no one ever respected her... except him. Peach/Snake. Please read and leave suggestions!
1. Man of My Dreams

**MINDSPRING- Hey, guys! This has been a long time coming, and I am uber-excited about. I am going to start using the Smash Villas in all of my stories now, so... yeah. **

**Please REVIEW! There shall be more pairings- next is Peach/Snake, but after that I have struck a blank. So, give me some pairings you want to see. HOWEVER- NO yuri or yaoi please. I know, I know, it leaves few choices, but still.**

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I crept next to the dark courtyard, next to the fountain. It was silent in the courtyard, besides the gentle sounds of the water, a singing nightingale, and my boots on the stones. I looked around. The moon was shining just over the tops of the dark trees surrounding the courtyard, and stars shone dimly onto the water. It was a magical scene, painted in silver, black, and green.

Just the way he liked it to be.

I sat on the lip of the fountain, pulling my legs up and putting my chin on my knees.

He had left me another note this morning.

Taped to my bedside table, written in curling script, and decorated with beautiful designs, it spoke of him immediately.

_Zelda-_

_These past few nights have been amazing. I still love what you said the first time we met- "I am a black belt in karate. Don't try anything stupid."_

_I have something important to ask you, I just don't know how to… Same time, same place._

_Link._

My heart skipped a beat just thinking about it. I had always had a crush on Link, but it seemed he had always liked that Midna imp better. I couldn't see why, she was just plain awful to him. But I would be kind, sweet, loving…

Hands covered my eyes, and a sweet voice said in my ears, "Guess who." I didn't even voice my surprise; he played this one every time we met.

I turned and grinned up at him.

He stood in shadows, but somehow I knew he smiled at me. My stomach churned over at the sight of him standing there, talking to me, caring about me…

He sat down on the fountain and I turned, saying, "Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

He nodded vaguely, and reached out a hand. Confused, my breath caught in my throat as he reached slowly down and pulled my dress corner out of the water. "Can't have that, it's such a beautiful dress."

Link turned his face towards me and said softly, "I have a question for you, Zel."

"Yes, Link? What is it?"

"…Do… do you… do you love me?"

I sucked in a deep breath and let my head fall, my brown hair covering my face. I murmured softly, a slight tremble in my voice, "Oh, Link…"

He quickly pulled his hand away from the hem of my dress.

"I… Yes, Link. I always have. What about… do you… love me…?"

He didn't answer. I looked up, confused. I was met with the dark sight of his face, framed from behind by the large moon.

He brought his lips on mine, firmly but gently.

* * *

Around one, I snuck back into the Girls Dorms in the Villas. Luckily, all the lights were off. I snuck past Peach's pink villa, built in the traditional 'Mushroom Kingdom' style, past Samus's intimidating spaceship-passing-for-a-house, past Nana's cute little one built out of Nevermeltice, and then onto mine, built into the natural stone walls that surrounded the entire Villas, covered with vines and columns. I unlocked the wooden door, and breathed in the comforting smells of my Hyrulian palace back home. Crazy had done a wonderful job on everyone's homes this year.

I leaned on the wood door for a few seconds, closing my eyes and smiling. It felt wonderful to finally have Link hold me, the way I had dreamed of since I first saw him. My head was filled with thoughts of us together, Midna glowering in the background of every single one… I smiled once more and started to hum happily to myself.

I padded across the thick carpet and walked into my bedroom. Groping for the lamp switch, arms outstretched, I knocked into something…

Something that felt like a person.

I clapped my hands over my mouth in terror before I could scream and wake everyone up. The lights flipped on without me touching the switch, and there, sitting in rocking chairs (brought in from who knows where), arms crossed, in _robes_, were Samus, Peach, and Nana.

Awkward…

As the silence stretched on, Peach smiled a little and titled her head to the side and asked sweetly, "God-e-good-en, Zelda. How now?"

Samus rolled her eyes and said, "Stop talking like that. Just because you are a princess, doesn't mean you get to go all Shakespeare on us. If anyone, Zelda here should talk like that while she explains to us what she was doing tonight (because her kingdom is an ancient one)!"

Peach rolled her eyes, I stared open mouthed at all of them, and Nana asked, "Can I haf tat cookie _now_, miss Peach?"

Peach patted her on the shoulder and said, "Not yet, honey."

Nana huffed and slid down in her chair.

I finally found my voice. "What… how… why…?"

"Complete a sentence, please!"

"Okay. WHY THE CRAP ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!?"

Samus said quietly, her eyes gleaming, "Where were you tonight for that sleepover Peach has been bothering us _all friggin' week_ about?"

"…Crap. Was that tonight?"

Peach sighed and stood, walking my stunned self over to the bed, settling me down and saying, "_Yes_, it was tonight! But it doesn't matter anymore." She sat down next to me on the bed, folded her legs underneath her, and smiled broadly, "Because you were with someone, weren't you?"

Samus and Nana joined us, Nana bouncing more than sitting. Samus added, "Someone whose name starts with a 'L' and ends with a 'ink'?"

I sighed. I figured I couldn't keep it from them long, but… Oh, what the heck. I smiled slowly, and nodded. Peach clapped her hands to her mouth, Samus crossed her arms and smiled, her bright blue eyes smug. Nana had fallen asleep on my comforter.

Peach started to bounce up and down, nearly shouting, "Oh, Zellie! Please, please, please, _please_ tell!"

"Yeah, girl. Spill the details!" Samus cheered, and so I consented. Happily.

* * *

A few days passed.

I'm sure if I noticed it, the others had, as well.

And, sure enough, Peach and Samus hushed their conversations whenever I tried to approach them, and Nana had started making me lumps-of-hardened-rocks-that-were-supposed-to-be-cookies.

Link was ignoring me.

The morning after he first kissed me, during breakfast, I smiled warmly at him and patted the seat next to mine for him to sit. He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes, and he walked on. And followed Midna.

I couldn't close my mouth from the shock. Waves of it seemed to radiate from my heart. I couldn't look up to meet Peach's or Samus's eyes. After breakfast, I had five little, bloody, indented crescents on my arm from where I had been digging my fingernails into my skin to keep from crying.

And then, over the next two days, every time I even appeared in his peripheral vision he scuttled out of the way, making lame excuses about having to go feed his stupid horse, or he had to go practice his uppercuts.

At first I was confused. Then a bit pissed off. Then completely, utterly shattered when the final blow came.

I was walking around the General Villas, near the Fountain Courtyard, where he had kissed me. I had been going through all the possible reasons for what had happened. _Radioactive waste? Dark spell by Ganondorf? That weird, hippy-like trance from Luigi's-_

I turned the corner and saw them, Link and Midna.

Kissing.

In the same spot where he had kissed me!

I covered my mouth so the cries would not burst into the still air. Tears were already streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't breathe; I was sobbing too hard. I turned and ran, not really caring who saw me like this. My stomach was heaving and my heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces. I felt like I was going to throw up.

I ran past the General Villas and the Stadium, and into the Girl's dorms. I ran into my villa and slammed the door behind me, sinking slowly down to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and finally let the sobs come out.

"Zelda! Zelda, let us in! Oh, Samus, she's not responding! Damn that Link! Zelda!" Peach's frantic cries were muffled through the wooden door. Not wanting to confront them, I stood and leapt up the stairs into my bedroom, and flung myself down on the bed.

A sharp crack echoed through the house as Samus blasted the door down.

"_Really_, Samus, that's the fifth door you've broken down this week! Oh, never mind. Zelda! Zelda, we have something to tell you!" Peach's voice grew louder, then softer as she noticed me on the bed, curled into a pathetic little ball.

"Oh, Zelda…" She came over to me and sat down on the edge of the mattress, and started stroking my hair. I wiped away my tears and murmured, "Why? What does he gain for doing something like that?"

Samus, from her seat on the windowsill, said, "It's not what you think, Zelda."

Peach gave me a side hug and said, "It really isn't. Here; he wanted you to have this." She handed me another note, which I took and cautiously opened. It read:

_Zelda;_

_I have something I have to tell you. Tonight. Same place, same time._

_I'm so sorry._

_Link._

"That's _it?_ After all he has done to hurt me, this is the _best_ he could come up with?"I screeched. It seemed my self-pity stage was over, and now my inner-Ganondorf was coming up. Peach took the letter from my hand and set it down on my bedside table.

"He's embarrassed me, played with me, and broken my heart! Oh, I'll go; if only to rip his dirty heart out!"

Samus put her hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you come practice with Peach and me, to get your anger out?"

Immediately my anger flew out. It wasn't _their _fault I was bad at relationships. My shoulders sank and I slowly nodded. Peach clapped her hands and said, "Well, first, let's get rid of all of this redness- don't want anyone thinking wrong, now, do we?"

Peach kept on talking, but I slowly tuned her out. She could have been screaming 'A plane is about to crash into your house and it is full of explosives and we are all going to do very shortly if you don't use some of your magic to help it steady out!' for all I cared. I was in shock. She dabbed some cream, dusted some powder, and dotted some lotion onto my face, and very soon I was as fresh as if I had just stepped out of the spa.

Peach can work some magic with makeup.

Twenty minutes later, I was kicking, punching, and clawing at a cloned Link. I didn't even choose the opponent- we had set it to random. I certainly wasn't complaining. It was probably one of my most injury-inducing practices yet. Of course, I wasn't hurt at all. The Link clone, on the other hand… well, he had been a good punching bag.

I was worn out by the time Samus and Peach called it quits. Samus's opponent had been the cloned Ice Climbers, while Peach's was Pit. I was exhausted, but I felt twenty times better than I had earlier this afternoon.

"Of course you feel better- it's the no-fail feel-better plan by Samus: Attack something until you have been worn out. It works every time; Peach used it a lot whenever Mario mentioned his ex-girlfriend. And I use it when Captain Falcon is pissing me off to the extreme. It makes you feel good, _and_ you get a good workout in!" Samus said enthusiastically when I had mentioned it.

I laughed when Peach said, "You should really be a pitch-woman. I'm serious! You have the loud voice and presence that is required!"

Samus laughed loudly and turned to her villa. We waved goodbye as she disappeared. Peach and I started walking to our separate houses, discussing anything and everything besides the obvious. If I was honest with myself, I was nervous.

I didn't want to be hurt again, and so soon.

However, at 11:50 I was at the Fountain Courtyard, bathed and freshened up, concentrating on the water, making it dance. I was so into the calming presence of the water floating and twisting that I didn't hear the footsteps that marked _his_ arrival. I only caught notice of it when he sat next to me on the stones. I tried to appear tough and annoyed, but I couldn't do it.

After a few moments of silence, he said softly, "I admire you for coming. If I had been in your position…"

"And what is that supposed to mean? In _my_ position?" I was so close to crying; I wasn't now because I was still focusing on the water like it was life or death.

When he didn't answer, I looked up. The moon was bright tonight, full and huge.

And for the first time, I could see very clearly the man who had kissed me.

He wasn't Link.

I gasped and close my eyes, "Dark Link…" I said quietly.

"I'm sorry you thought I was him. It's my fault for making you hurt so much; you ought to slap me and order me never to bother you again. I only wanted to talk to you tonight because I wanted to let you know who had fallen in love with you, and so you wouldn't feel so rejected." His voice was full of pain, as if _he _had been the one broken.

He continued, quickly, as if the words were piling up inside his head and couldn't be stopped by his lips, "What you're feeling now, I have felt since I first fell for you. Every time you wanted Link, it killed me. Every time he talked to you or smiled at you, I wanted to tear his throat out. But I couldn't. Zelda, I am so-"

I kissed him, softly, on the lips, clasping my hands behind his neck, and said softly, "I love you."

And I meant it.

Those three words that I had always wanted to utter came out for the man who was the opposite of the one I thought I loved.


	2. Best Friend, Best Lover

**MINDSPRING- I'm really sorry for the over-excessive wait, but I was stuck for ideas for this pairing. That, and I lost my USB drive. Again…**

**But it doesn't matter anymore, cause I got a new computer all to myself with INTERNET! Huzzah!**

**ANYway, please review and leave me suggestions for some other 'odd' couples/ pairings you would like me to experiment with. **

**P.S.- This is from Peach's POV, and might not be what people usually expect from the Mushroom Princess or that one mercenary dude named after a slithering reptile… so OOC as well.**

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I stared into the sun as it set, thinking about how much it looked like blood. As dark as it sounds, I couldn't help myself. I needed some way to get this darkness out, to purge myself of it before it completely consumed me.

Sitting on a hill at the very edge of the Smash Villas, I was completely alone out here. Good thing, too. I'm not sure how many more blond jokes or completely and totally rude remarks I could handle before I murdered someone.

Tears formed in my eyes as I ran through the past few months in my head. At first, it had started out as nothing, a little teasing from my friends. I laughed with them, even saying my own when I messed up or I tripped. But then… it was as if they had started taking it seriously, what I said. That I was truly a dumb blond, one who was only here to keep males entertained with my half-wit jokes and beauty that made up for the lack of brain.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes, the tears rushing out onto my cheeks. I sobbed quietly at first, but then rather loudly and un-lady-like. What was even worse was that even when I acted out my full potential, such as helping Fox repair his ship or coming up with a battle plan with Ike that would for sure win us the team trophy; they had laughed it off as a strange phenomenon.

And of course, what Ike had said today, after our brawl. You can't battle very well, it's only because you can distract the other team with your stupidity that we win.

It probably wasn't their fault- they didn't know it hurt. Cases like this happened everyday, and went more or less unnoticed. Who am I to plead to be noticed?

And the fact that Samus was blond did not help, either. Of course, they all revered her- and Zelda, they knew she was brains, brawns, and beauty. According to them, the only one I had out of those three was beauty. I shook my head and pushed my face into my skirts, not caring if they got makeup on them.

Pounding footsteps brought me out of my self-pitying trail of thoughts. I pressed into the grass and prayed that whoever was passing wouldn't notice me.

"Damn, Peach, you run fast in heels!" Ok, guess not.

I sighed and looked up. Snake was standing at the foot of the hill, grinning his trademark crooked smile. He was breathing deeply, and continued when he saw me look up, "And you have that ridiculous dress on, too. I must say I am impressed."

I grinned and wiped away a tear. Ever since Snake had arrived at the Villas, we had been fast friends. I'm not sure whether it was my love of competition or his love of my cooking that made the unlikely friendship blossom between a princess and a mercenary, but I sure thanked the heavens every time we hung out after a particularly rough day.

As great as Samus and Zelda were, they never stood up for me- Zelda has always been the shy type, and no teasing goes on at all when Samus is even within a room's length. So they were both completely unaware of it. Snake, however, knew all about it. He could get the others to shut up about it, so they had stopped it in front of him.

Snake ran up the hill and plopped down next to me. "Didn't you hear me yelling at you?"

I shook my head. He smiled and continued, "Well, next time there's a marathon, I am signing you up for it."

I rolled my eyes and punched him on the shoulder. He feigned hurt for a moment before pulling a thin package from… somewhere.

"Guess what I got?"

I shrugged. He handed it to me, and I tore the wrappings off of it. I laughed and said, my voice a little hoarse, "Sixteen Candles. But you hate this movie."

He shrugged and started fiddling with the torn wrappings. "You don't."He smiled and looked at me, squinting into the light, "And that not all- there's more to this surprise!"

I laughed, "I'm not sure how many more surprises I can take…"

"You'll like this one. Check it," he pulled out a small DVD player, a bottle of wine, two glasses, and several blankets, "movie under the stars!"

I stared at it all, than I started to laugh, "Mister David Snake, how did you carry all of this junk up here?"

He laughed too, a deep, gravely sound, "Hammerspace is probably the best thing known to Smash kind, Peachy," mimicking my taunt for the brawls.

I rolled my eyes again, but I instantly felt much better. Snake didn't mention the teasing at all. As we resettled into the grass and wrapped the blankets around ourselves, the sky slowly faded to a deep black.

0000000000

Sunlight slowly filtered in underneath my eyelids. I frowned and pulled the covers to hide my face from the glaring rays.

Weird, I thought. Usually I'm really good about closing the curtains. I wonder what time it is- Ike and I have a practice today at noon- Wait a minute.

Hesitantly, I brushed my mattress with my hands, realizing that I was still fully dressed. And not a mattress- grass. I opened my eyes and saw my crown sitting a few feet away from me, covered in dew and reflecting the light of the sun rise right into my eyes. My red heels were also a few feet from me, in the opposite direction. Probably ruined.

I was still outside. The blanket I was under was also covered in a thin layer of dew, and…

And Snake's arms were wrapped around my waist.

I gasped softly. He was still asleep, but his hold was firm. Suddenly I understood all his strange actions last night- getting the movie he hated so I could watch it, getting a bottle of expensive wine, and… Wow.

Wow.

He loved me.

I turned and kissed his lips as hard as I could, not caring if he had morning breath. He woke up with a start, eyes narrowed and arms raised at first. But it vanished as quickly as it had come. He looked confused, and I muttered, "I love you." I ran my hand through his hair, resting it on his cheek.

His answer was a grin and a kiss.

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**D'aww... Next up is Game and Watch x R.O.B! **


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